Self-care isn’t just a buzzword. For Black women, it’s survival. But here’s the thing: society has done a number on us. We’ve been fed these outdated, limiting beliefs that make it hard to fully claim our right to softness and ease. We’re done with that. It’s time to challenge these myths, strip away the guilt, and start pouring into ourselves.
Here are five self-care myths we need to let go of — starting today.
Myth #1: Self-Care Is a Luxury You Can’t Afford
One of the most widespread myths about self-care is that it’s a luxury reserved for the rich and idle. But self-care is not about expensive spa treatments or luxurious vacations. Real self-care is about those small, intentional actions that bring you peace. It’s in the little luxuries, like a quiet moment with your thoughts, or simply saying “no” when your plate is already full. You deserve that. Every Black woman does, no matter her bank balance.
Myth #2: Rest Must Be Earned
This myth has deep roots in our community. As Black women, we’ve often been taught that we need to work twice as hard to be seen, and that rest is something we can only indulge in after we’ve proven our worth. Lies!! Rest is a necessity, not a reward for surviving the grind. You don’t need to hustle to the point of exhaustion to earn the right to slow down. By releasing this myth, you allow yourself to embrace the softer side of strength — where rest is essential for your mental and physical well-being.
Myth #3: Self-Care Is Selfish
Many Black women feel a sense of duty to always put others first. Whether it’s family, community, or work, the belief that our value lies in serving others can make us feel selfish for wanting to take time for ourselves. Nah. It’s not selfish to put yourself first. Self-care doesn’t make you less capable or loving. In fact, when you take care of yourself, you have more to give. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so filling yours up isn’t selfish — it’s survival. It’s power.
Myth #4: Self-Care Requires a Lot of Time
With busy schedules and endless responsibilities, it’s easy to believe that you simply don’t have time for self-care. However, self-care doesn’t require hours out of your day. It doesn’t require some grand, time-consuming event. It’s in the small moments — that deep breath before a big meeting, a five-minute dance break, a quick journal entry before bed. Don’t let the myth that you need a ton of time keep you from giving yourself what you need. You can carve out space for softness, no matter how packed your schedule is.
Myth 5: Strength Means Never Needing Help
Society loves to paint Black women as these unbreakable pillars of strength — never tired, never vulnerable. But let’s be real: we’re tired of being tired. Part of self-care is allowing yourself to be cared for by others, seeking therapy, or even just letting loved ones help when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Whether it’s leaning on friends or even letting your partner take some weight off your shoulders, vulnerability is powerful. You don’t always have to be the one holding it all together. Softness and strength can coexist, and starting now we’re embracing that balance.
If you’re ready to drop the weight of these myths and claim your right to rest, ease, and joy, join the Sunkissed Soft Life Social Community by Beauji Brown Girl. Let’s unlearn together and build a life where your well-being comes first. There’s no cost to become a member. Join here today.
Tags: self-care for Black women, myths about self-care, Black women and rest, self-care myths, strength and softness, Black women and vulnerability, luxury of self-care, ease for Black women
